Complete my writing in a more timely
fashion. (So I'm writing my New Year's Resolutions
in February—so what? What's your point?)
2.
Write something every day. (Today
I plan to write a cheque to Visa for my Christmas
purchases. Tomorrow I plan to write a letter to
Visa, apologizing for bouncing the cheque that I
wrote for my Christmas purchases.)
3.
Never be satisfied until I find the
exactdefiniterightcorrect
best word.
4.
Never put off until tomorrow what
I can do today. (I plan to start on this one tomorrow.
Or maybe the next day.)
5.
Strive to write more better. Oops,
I mean strive to write better.
6.
Never allow tyops to silp into what
I writte.
7.
Always finish what I sta...
Top 10 Things People Say When They Find Out I'm a
Writer
10.
Would I have read anything of yours?
9.
Is there any money in that?
8.
Have I got an idea for you!
7.
What's your real job?
6.
You should write about me!
5.
When is your novel going to be published?
4.
I don't have time to read.
3.
I could write a book, if I wanted
to.
2.
Where do you get your ideas?
1.
I've never heard of you.
Top 10 Things Adults Say When They Find Out I'm a
Children's Author
10.
You mean like Robert Munsch?
9.
Do you draw the pictures, too?
8.
How do you choose your illustrator?
7.
What kind of advance do you get for
a picture book?
6.
You should write about my kids!
5.
When are you going to write a real
book?
4.
Are you going to be the next J.K.
Rowling?
3.
Kids' books are easy to write. I could
write one, if I wanted to.
2.
Where do you get your ideas?
1.
I've never heard of you.
Top 10 Things Kids Say When They Find Out I'm a Children's
Author
10.
Do you know J.K. Rowling?
9.
Do you want to hear the story I wrote?
8.
Do you draw the pictures, too? The
pictures are the best part.
7.
How long does it take you to write
a book?
6.
Could you write a story right now?
5.
How old were you when you started
writing?
4.
How old are you now?
3.
Are you a famous author? Like, when
you go to the mall, do people point and say, "Look
at the famous author!"?
2.
Where do you get your ideas?
1.
I've never heard of you.
20 Things Only a Fellow Writer Could Possibly Understand
1.
The concept of a good rejection letter.
2.
The contradictory emotions of envy and elation
experienced when a friend gets "the call"
from a publisher.
3.
How you can still believe a piece of writing is
good, even after it's been rejected 46 times.
4.
The truth of the following equation: butt + chair
+ time = writing.
5.
How much a form rejection letter hurts.
6.
Wanting honest feedback of your writing, but wanting
that honest feedback to be, "It's perfect!
Don't change a word."
7.
Ideas are everywhere.
8.
Ideas are the easy part—it's what you do
with all those ideas that's bloody difficult.
9.
Writing is really, really, really hard work—even
when it looks like you're just goofing off.
10.
Staring out the window for an hour is part of
the writing process.
11.
Sometimes characters refuse to behave
and insist on telling a story their way.
12.
Everything is fodder for writing—even
the juicy secret you're sworn to secrecy about.
13.
The inner critic is harsher than any
outer critic could ever be.
14.
Sometimes scrubbing the toilet or
cleaning the garage is more appealing that writing.
15.
Sometimes writing is more appealing
than getting enough sleep or going out on the town.
16.
A first novel shooting straight to
the top of the New York Times bestseller
list is just an urban myth. (It has to be, it just
has to be, doesn't it?)
17.
Procrastination is a crucial component
of the writing process.
18.
Sometimes bookshelves need to be rearranged,
right now.
I can have a gossipy lunch with my
writer friends and call it networking.
6.
I can spend an hour staring out the
window and call it the creative process.
5.
I can spend an afternoon surfing the
Internet and call it research.
4.
I get paid to tell lies. (True, I
don't get paid OFTEN or even WELL, but still you
see my point.)
3.
My characters can say all the nasty,
cutting, funny things I don't have the courage to
say in real life.
2.
The feeling of utter power that comes
from creating fictional worlds and controlling characters'
lives (until the characters take over, that is,
and start doing whatever they want).
1.
No dress code.
Top 10 Inspirational Books to Read When the Rejections
Are Rolling In
I have a pressing need to rearrange
my bookshelves.
5.
My husband/kids/pets/neighbours are
making so much noise I can't concentrate.
6.
It's so quiet I can't concentrate.
7.
I'm not feeling creative today.
8.
My deadline is still ages away.
9.
I need to clean the house.
10.
I'm a horrible writer with absolutely
no talent and I'll never get published anyway because
all the editors are illiterate morons who only publish
their friends and I'll probably end up alone, unloved
and unpublished, living in a cardboard box under
a bridge with nothing but newspapers to keep me
warm.
Hmmm... Maybe this needs to be a top 20 list...
11.
My computer crashed.
12.
There's something good on TV.
13.
I'm at a very exciting point in the
book I'm reading.
14.
I need to alphabetize my pantry.
15.
It's too beautiful outside to be stuck
inside at the computer.
16.
It's so rainy and gray outside that
it's too depressing to write.
17.
I got my 463rd rejection in the mail
today.
18.
I need to bake something.
19.
My lucky writing sweater is in the
wash.
20.
I don't even own a lucky writing sweater.
Come to think of it, maybe this should really be a
top 30 list...
21.
My characters are annoying me.
22.
My plot is stupid.
23.
It's too early in the day.
24.
It's too late in the day.
25.
I'll do it tomorrow instead.
26.
I need to do just a little bit more
research before I can write any more.
27.
It's so cold I can't concentrate.
28.
It's so hot I can't concentrate.
29.
I need to read just one more book
on the craft of writing before I can write even
one more word.
30.
It won't hurt to skip just one day.
Or maybe this should be a top 40 list... And if I keep
writing this list for long enough, I won't have to do
any "real" writing today...
(1994)
